Feeling a little bit sore.

Mostly about tomorrow. Mr Toh said we only had school till 11 tomorrow! Well, that was until the teachers decided we could do without half a day off. But oh well. They did it for us. At least Ms Chia gets time to go through QA with us before the *tchok* TEST! Roar.

Also feeling physical sore-ness. My muscle aches haven't faded. Hope it doesn't last TOO long.. I want to run up and down stairs like I could before. =) and I want to stop saying 'ow' with each gruelling step taken.

ow
ow
ow
ow
ow





grr.

Anyway, I decided I want to be good at SOMETHING. After a few moments of pondering, I still can't find any damn thing I'm good at. I'm pathetically inferior. I WANT TO BE GOOD AT SOMETHING. Ever had a period in your life when you feel you just can't get anything right, and you're always messing up? Well, I'm feeling that now. It's depressing but hey, I'll make it through. =) like what the heck is depression now lol. I've felt it all before, and it no longer hurts.

Chem test! Gotta study. QA is definitely the hardest topic in the test.. It involves loads and loads of memory. OH YA, I hafta train up my memory. A memory span of 6 seconds is NOT gonna get me anywhere.







~joy. =)

When darkness turns to light,
it ends tonight. ;;

First up.

Sorry to my dear class sec 4I for being one of the main people who caused Ms. Chia's emo-breakdown, I know many people have been giving me that proverbial kick-in-the-butt but I sort of grew numb to it. Well, I have spent 2 hours doing some of my homework and I'm gonna spend a few hours continuing later. Just taking a breather for now.

To a specific someone, pride comes before a fall. You'll get what I mean.

*Recalls yesterday*
Well, yesterday was another waste of money. Woke up at 7.45am and saw JW's sms telling me to meet at 11am. I was a few minutes late as usual. Johan JW Kat Mingyue were already there. I was expecting someone to have already queued, but nope. Anyway, I wasn't the latest! Yewfie and his friend Kelvin had yet to arrive. When they did, it was about half an hour late. We had already given our cards to JW to Q. We took like an hour to get our seats. But they were all in a row, joy!

The only thing we did was dota and CS, which some of us could have played at home. But I don't know, some find LAN more appealing. Can't blame JW, he cant play at home. But anyway, being a gooooooooooood friend I went along to entertain them. =)

2 games of dota: both were awful for me.
CS: very amusing.

I also tried this puzzle-bobble-type thing but you control the little lizard thing to put enemies in bubbles and pop 'em. Very cute, but I didn't -excel- in it. Hey, it was a first try thankyouverymuch. Serious Sam might have been fun if my comp could even LOAD THE THING. Grrr.

THE BILL WAS LIKE $12++. And I skipped church too. Icky. I won't be doing that again anytime soon.

Then me Johan Mingyue Kat Yewf Kelvin went to toys r us to get Johan's bro a birthday prezzie. It was his birthday yesterday. His name is.. Jonas? Can't remember. Happy birthday to you! From your bro's buddy Samuel. ;D I went with Johan back to his house, which was at that time empty. Kat 'had to go out with her mother' and Mingyue went off with her. y00fie went home to do about an hour's worth of homework before he went to Johan's house. Kelvin followed him. y00f brought two Kohs, Samuel and John, with him when he came. It's been long since I last saw John. =) his voice broke! Then we sat there and watched even more dota which Johan and y00f arguing over who was better - Johan or this guy we played with at pavilion. Samuel found it like super amusing. LOL.

We only left at like 11+, so I'd been out for 12 hours+. Which is usual for me on Saturdays. =D

I realised Kelvin is a pretty good guy. y00f said people usually have a bad first impression of him, so I believe him.

To y00f: I still don't see the point of trying. Some things cannot be forced. ( I know y00f wont be seeing this anyway, that perma-offline fool. xD )

I don't know what I should do now
I don't know where I should go
I'm still here waiting for you
I'm lost when you're not around
I need to hold on to you
I just can't let you go.

Such a boring day.

I think this year has got to be the ultimate of boring years. WE NEED SOMETHING INTERESTING TO HAPPEN. Maybe a plane crashes into suntec city. Or something. Anything.

We wasted 15 minutes of chem class today waiting for the Ms Chia that never came. =)It was huge relief for me, because.. ya. I know it's not the right attitude for this crucial stage of my education, baaa. Changing my spots'll take time too.

Chem common test next thurs, on all the topics covered this year, up to some of redox.

The rest of the lessons were hopelessly usual. Only during english, she let me sit next to Raymond again, due to um, request of a small portion of the class. Maybe they felt sorry for me, sitting alone at the corner looking so small and pathetic. Anyway ya, thanks for pleading for me. =D

Was asleep through a third of SMT. Mr Tan let us do whatever we wanted. =/ I love that guy! If he was smaller I'd hug him.

=))


















I'm asleep. Wake me up.

New skin again! =D I think I'm just indecisive, not overwhelmed by boredom.

First day in school!
Had chemistry first thing in the day. Everyone thought this week was week 12 instead of term 2 week 1, so we brought books for the even week instead. Ms Chia was mildly annoyed. =/ After lesson she told us to return to that class for recess, as she had prepared a 'picnic' for us. So touching.. And she was supposed to be on MC too. What a unique form teacher. =P

PE was the same as usual. 4 rounds and a game.

Maths was the same as usual. And I forgot my compass and stuff for like over a week.

RECESS. Ms Chia said she liked us to use our home room more often, since only like a third of the class ever go to that home room for lessons, and the rest only see it for Alive! and FT. She's opening the room for us to study on Mondays and Wednesdays too. She provided us with sandwiches for recess. Touching, but not exactly filling. Nevertheless, our form teacher really cares for us. =)

English was the same as usual. Sabina pretended I was nonexistent. =x

Geog was the same. Half the class sleeping.

SMT. THE A MATHS TEST WAS KILLER.

So ya. That's that. I would post more if something actually happens. Life is just so monotonous.

(I never know how to end a post)

<3 clarb forever!

went for math remedial today. attendence was PATHETIC. y00f was earliest. i was dying to get upstairs to greet him but i took like 15 minutes to find the only open staircase in the whole frick'n school, which was the spiral one leading to the hall.

from there, i passed the staff room door at the same time mr toh came out from it. so no time to yak with y00fie before class started. oh well. y00f went to sit far far away from me. aww.. =(

so the class only had me, y00f, maria, chungson, suhaila and sylvia. oh ya, and eden. eden so nice. he sat with me. =))

we had two sets of notes combined into one. the first one was called more and more loci, the next one called more, more and more loci. -,- but loci's easy. free points in E maths Os!

after that, took 14 to somerset for service. i have had nothing to eat since morning, and as far as i can remember i have not drank anything either. i was dead famished. on the bus i was reading a book, so i became nauseous too. i missed somerset by a stop and ended up somewhere near cathay cineleisure. but the walk back was good for me. =)

i was eager to have a meal, but when i went up yiqin was giving a small teaching about evangelism in the early church. at first i was reluctant, but the teaching was interesting, and it made me forget my stomach. i managed to have my lunch soon enough, and it was time for service.

service was about our sixth sense, which allows us to experience God. after service we had our usual 'bonding', and then we ended early to celebrate jeremy's birthday. happy 16th! you get to watch NC16 movies wayyy before i do. =/ i'm desperate for sept 19th.

yay! today's instant noodles was great. dry as usual, but not THAT dry. fantastic. ^^ the water took long though, because the lid for the pot was wiped out when somebody put the pot on too long and it got burnt.

last thing to say: <3 clarb rawks!

we interrupt the programme to bring you breaking news.

MAPLE IS THE SCUM OF ONLINE GAMING, proudly brought to you by, the social vine losers a.k.a approximately 1/2 of t3h <3 clarb.

COMING SOON!

blogger, please dont swallow this post too..

been rummaging through my bag, and look what i've found:
1) physics worksheet after physics worksheet, undone.
2) a chemistry worksheet, undone.
3) powerpoint slides from the recent motivation camp, left untouched since the camp ended.
4) progress report, unsigned.
5) paper stating dates of maths remedials. next one's tomorrow.
6) other stuff i dont remember.

stuff i've done through the hols:
1) much much lan.
2) if not at lan, probably playing at home.
3) watched big momma's house 2.

progressive, useful stuff i've done during the hols:
NONE.

what's going on?? alright, time to give myself a kick in the POSTERIOR and do some work. if not, my head will probably be puddle-bound.

tomorrow, there's maths remedial and SERVICE. i dont wanna miss service again. i've been felling malnourished. sunday, time to rush through my homework. or be labeled a sheep, baaa.

whoosh!
<3!

All-American Rejects - Move Along

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone sins
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through

(Move along)
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along

What is life about? My answer was: Life is about gaining experience from wrong decisions in the past to make better ones in the future. But to put the answer in less than 10 words: Life is about gaining experience from wrong decisions to make good ones. In summary: gaining experience.

What is the greatest failure in life? I couldn't find a satisfactory answer to that one, so I put in the most logical one i could find, which was: The greatest failure in life is not succeeding.

What is this life for? My answer: Life is about being able to say "I have lived" when it is all over.

Have you ever thought about these questions? What is life, really?

Standard definition of life:
1. The property or quality that distinguishes living organisms from dead organisms and inanimate matter, manifested in functions such as metabolism, growth, reproduction, and response to stimuli or adaptation to the environment originating from within the organism.
2. The characteristic state or condition of a living organism.

Uh, let's not go into detail shall we. -.- *throws away dictionary*

So what is life? The answer is probably user-defined. As in - everybody's meaning of life is determined by how they live it. In fact, the way one lives his or her life determines all of his or her answers to all of life's questions.

Life on Earth is not forever. Everyone has to die. Do you know what's the feeling of death? The problem is, nobody does. Simply because nobody has lived to tell the tale.

Standard definition of death:
1. The act of dying; termination of life.
2. The state of being dead.

Intellectual? You see, even the all-mighty dictionary can't tell us the feeling of death. Nobody can. My theory? I suppose death just feels like you're going to sleep. That is, if you die peacefully. On the hospital bed, I guess you just get choked out and then you stay that way. Nobody knows the feeling of being choked to death, because nobody has lived to tell the tale.

"Tisn't life that matters! 'Tis the courage you bring to it." -- Joan Borysenko

Life to the fullest is life with a purpose. Which brings us back to our dear motivational camp.

I encountered challenge of a slightly different kind in Temasek Secondary School, but it was with great teamwork with fellow trainer Ramesh Muthusamy. I suppose having to take all the technical segments was really quite a drain.. :p thankfully, the students had learnt to have a mind of their own and eventually propelled themselves forward. Here are the photos... HEY TEMASEK SEC 4N, 4U, 4I of 2006 - let them remember forever the day you graduated from the I am Gifted So Are You program with your results... if not, I will personally make sure you have a puddle for yourself!! -copied from Stuart Tan's blog. xD Visit his webbie http://www.stuart-tan.com/. He actually posted some photos of us there. LOL! Even the pics of people looking tired and bored.

Alright, time to end. Gotta go dig up a puddle. =)

so just like that, motivation camp's over.

well, i dont know if i'm truly motivated, so i'll not go on about how i'm motivated to get straight As for O levels, though i sure as hell want to. that testimony can wait till much much later.

to prove to the school that classes 4U, N and I are the best sec4 classes in temasek? it's possible, and the visualisation ramesh sent to us was certainly wonderfully appealing. and if it really does happen, i'll turn back to the roots of my motivation and thank ramesh muthusamy and stuart tan for their significant change to my life. in any case, i'll probably remember them forever. they're really good people.

watch out, triple science classes. x)

to my parents: I LOVE YOU. i daren't say it to their face, just because i'm not that kinda person. but I LOVE YOU, and that will never change. i'm sorry for how i've treated you the way i'd treat a stuffed toy, and rest assured i want to become the best son you can possibly have. =D

I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore.

emotions ran high today. for many reasons.

the morning bit was alright, but during lunch break ms chia gave out progress reports. it's not that bad still though. progress reports have never been a big deal. i passed 6 subjects which IS a big deal though. but the downside was, my average was 49%. -,- i think u take some and lose some. bleh. =p

the afternoon session was nothing short of tragic. rameshhhh cursed our parents to die and scolded us till we feeble little kids cried. =( actually, he was just trying to make us visualise it in a dark room with our heads on the table and the lights off, with slow sad piano music in the background. it worked. in short,

it
was
tragic.

with every sentence that evil guy finished, the sobs would increase in volume. i even heard a guy sobbing super loudly i think. LOL.

well, yeah. that guy gave me the biggest slice of reality i ever received from a human being. O.O u may call him generous. i call him cruel. =O

C
R
U
E
L

but effective.

yup, im motivated maybe. but also depressed. he was rather frank. lol.. and i dont know if i'll be anything different having taken that chunk of reality from the mouth of a hardcore realist.

anyway, he told us his life story and how many people he knew DIED. for some reason. maybe people who are his friends are jinxed. just kidding. the point is, it probably takes courage to rake up the past like that, especially seeing how upsetting it would be if i told everybody how my close friends died one by one. for that i respect him.

EDEN. u still havent linked me. =(

motivation camp: thursday - saturday

i was planning to blog last thing at night anyway, but since it's so late now i'll just make a quick one and go to bed.

adam khoo learning technology's organised motivational day camp! it's gonna last for 3 days from 0800hrs to about 2130hrs. which means 13hrs of almost straight lecture which may be almost undeniable if not for the few well-invited breaks in between. thanks to dear ray and suquan (but mostly ray) my early impression of what i knew only as adam khoo was rather de-hyped; ray said he was motivated for 3 days after the whole course and the last motivated person in his class un-motivated himself after a month or so. it's like $135 for a chance to skip curriculum for a few days. haha..

i was expecting adam khoo himself to be lecturing us, so i was slightly taken aback when the guy who was entertaining us for the first 15 minutes was just a guy named jeff, and he was only the one-man sound crew. furthermore, there wasnt a trace of the elusive adam khoo throughout the whole sessions. instead we got two other trained trainers who were entertaining, but somehow i feel the content they covered altogether could actually be covered in half the time taken. BUT i appreciate how they cracked jokes in between to sorta loosen us up. i would have slept most of the time if not for this. heh. =)

i wont elaborate on this so people who havent attended the camp yet wont exploit this post as a spoiler. x)

oh ya, and on the way home when i was catching a bus i realised I COULD NOT FIND MY WALLET. it was super scary. the first thought that popped into my mind was "God, dont play with me now leh.." xD kinda dumb i know. so i shook my bag and my wallet dropped out from somewhere. omGosh im like so blur. -,- anyway thank God for making my wallet not too hard to find. (:

now sam eeeee's parents want him to back out of AR camp. u'd better NOT i tell ya. i'll slaughter u if u dun turn up. I KNOW WHERE U LIVE. O.O

alright good night. i hope i'll be motivated to get up when the alarm rings.

yayy! new skin. black <3 xD
well, tag guys if u read. it's not as if my blog is that dead but the tagboard is almost stagnant. =(
tag!

this article in the paper puzzles me.

a singaporean man, married with a thai wife, had a mistress from china. even after his wife found out, he pleaded her to let his mistress move in with them. even though she was upset and reluctant, she agreed because he has treated her well and out of pity as the mistress claimed she did not have a home.
she returned to china soon after to celebrate CNY with her family, and the man met her in shanghai after that and they checked into a hotel. on the third day he went out to find another hotel to check into, and the mistress disappeared, together with the $100 000 he had left in his trousers. she could no longer be reached by her mobile phone as it was turned off.
after waiting in vain for 2 days he finally returned to singapore, having lost the woman he loved, not to mention a nonetoosmall sum of money.
typical?
what i found weird was that he was not in the least concerned about the money he lost. i mean, if i lost $100 000 like that i would have a cow. wouldn't you?
however, he was more concerned with "(finding) her again and to ask her to her face if she had truly loved me or was it just for my money?"
such is the power of love?
obviously that woman did not love him. obviously all she wanted was his money, maybe a place to stay for a few days. she had his trust, his house to live in, and his love. it would have been comforting to have kept all these, but she threw them away and ran away with only his money.
even i feel indignant for the guy. he was blindly following his heart.
she WAS quite convincing though. he had wanted to test her by saying he needed $10000 urgently as he was in financial difficulty.
she passed him this sum the next day. he had trusted her with his feelings ever since.
is true love worth that much? to still pine over her when she had duped him of his money. just to hear her say indeed, she HAD loved him before, even for a second, and he would probably hang on to that word for a lifetime.
his wife had scolded him when he revealed to her about his mistress' escapade with his money. would it have mattered if the wife had disagreed to let her husband continue his affair? would it have stopped his love for his mistress to go any further? would it have prevented the whole incident from happening?
and now, would scolding him for his mistake make a difference? would he ever be the same again? time will tell.
this article had struck something in my mind. i had probably never considered the value of love. and to have heard multiple stories of the extent some people go to for love, it's a wonder.
perhaps now it's time i start considering. to not know the value of love is perhaps the consequence of not having felt it, or give it. it's darn well the time i start thinking.

This is Your Life - Switchfoot

Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you've broken
Don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes
This is your life, and today is all you've got now
Yeah, and today is all you'll ever have
Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes

This is your life, are you who you wanna be
This is your life, are you who you wanna be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger, and you had everything to lose

Yesterday is a kid in the corner
Yesterday is dead and over

This is your life, are you who you wanna be
This is your life, are you who you wanna be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger, and you had everything to lose

Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes

This is your life, are you who you wanna be
This is your life, are you who you wanna be

This is your life, are you who you wanna be (who you wanna be)
This is your life, are you who you wanna be (who you wanna be)
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger, and you had everything to lose

You had everything to lose.